


Saint Delilah

by Luminka



Series: Saint Delilah [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Alternate Universe - Dragons, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Child Loss, Magic and Science, Multi, One Night Stands, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-05-18 09:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19331674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luminka/pseuds/Luminka
Summary: Delilah Evers is a woman who has only ever had one wish: to be a good mother. She's only ever wanted a family of her own, but after countless attempts over many years, she's begun to lose hope... Until a strange god offers her another chance in a different world. Delilah doesn't know what could happen to her in this world, but with the promise of a child, a family in another world, how could she not accept?





	1. 3 Questions With a God

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading my story and ignoring the weird string of tags I have on it! I appreciate it very much!  
> I've never posted one of my stories before, and I'm really excited to see what you all think of it. If you like what you read, then I'll try to post at least once a week, mostly on Sunday. I hope you enjoy!

 I touched the soft, still features of the child I'd carried with me for 9 months. The pregnancy had been normal. There hadn't been any complications, the only trips to the doctor that we'd needed were to check on his progress, we had been so hopeful... so why, again, did it turn out like this? "Miss? Are you alright?" The young nurse asked as she began to reach for the stiff, cold bundle in my arms. I jerked away from her reaching hands, and glared in annoyance at her. What a question. "Are you alright?" What kind of person would be alright with holding their own dead infant? What kind of person would be alright with holding their only fully formed child for the very first and last time? Why would you even ask?  

She flinched away and stepped back, a little frightened by the look in my eyes. I relaxed. She was new to this. To still borns. To miscarriages. To these kinds of last requests. "I'm..." I started trying to reassure her, but I couldn't force myself to spit out the rest of the lie. So I settled for a reprimand. "If you're ever in this kind of situation again, don't ask a question with an obvious answer. It'll only make things worse." I spoke evenly, emptily, as I slowly handed her the white hospital blanket that carried what had almost been mine. She gave me a pitying look and nodded. I sent her a glare out the door, and leaned back on the pillows behind me.

I thought briefly of Robert. He had left as soon as he'd heard that there was a complication, and as much as I wanted to, I couldn't blame him. He'd suffered just as much as I had over all the miscarriages I'd had, and it was almost silently agreed to that if this final attempt wasn't successful, then we'd both go our separate ways. No point wasting any more time on a marriage that wouldn't have lasted much longer without the children we both so desperately wanted. To be honest, we'd lasted longer than expected. All things considered, we might have lost hope long ago if Robert hadn't been so stubborn. But then, maybe he should have given up. After all, this kind of heartbreak doesn't happen to people who don't try.

I rest my eyes for at least an hour, but I can't sleep. I open my eyes when a nurse comes in to check in on me. No, not just any nurse, it's Mina. "Hey there Delilah." She says with a knowing, tender smile, coming closer to offer a warm embrace. "Mina..." I trail off softly as I'm wrapped up in her slender arms. As she pulls away, she cups my cheek with her hand, holding me steady with an even gaze,  and eventually asks "how are you feeling? Did they let you hold him yet?"

My eyes betray me as drop after drop floods my vision and a low, gurgled hum is all I can do to respond. Mina understands and tucks my face into her shoulder and lets me cry my fill, giving me a tight, comforting embrace so I can let it all go. Mina was there at my first miscarriage. She was there with me through all of them, and now, through my last one, she was here too. I try to speak, I try to tell her every emotion in my body, but it can only come out as choked sobs, tripping over themselves to escape my throat.

****

I stared into the nursery of newborns with longing and envy. I had asked to be let out of my room to get some coffee and stretch my legs, but this is what I had wanted to see all along. I pressed my palm up to the glass as I saw a new addition with the same nose as Robert. I'd always wanted to be here, I'd always wanted to see my own little baby right here just before I took them home, I'd wanted to be able to pick them out from all the others with just a look. I'd wanted to be here with Robert, and hold his hand and cry tears of joy as we finally got to take home our first child.

The only thing I had ever wanted was to be a mother, just like mine had been to me. I had looked forward to the days I would get to spend teaching them about the world and singing them lullabies and raising them to be good people. But that wouldn't be happening. I swallowed back the lump in my throat as I continued to stare through the window.

Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore and sank to my knees, knowing that soon enough I'd be found by someone who knew I wasn't supposed to be here and confined to my room until I was ready to leave. I heard a whisper start up behind me and knew that it wouldn't be long now.

I waited for a few minutes, and decided to turn my head just as Mina came around the corner with a doctor I recognized from the first few minutes of my arrival to the hospital. Marcus was his name, I think. As she turned from the doctor to look at me, panic dawned on her face as she began to sprint towards me. I used the lip of the viewing window to pull myself up and show her that I hadn't collapsed and gave her a weak smile and wave.

I thought I was having a heart attack when everything stopped moving. Mina was frozen between her right foot leaving the ground and her left foot almost connecting to the ground. A baby's fist had frozen in the air as he had been waving it, and a woman who had been opening a door was paused between the frame. I couldn't hear anything around me. But I could move. I could walk over to each individual that had been frozen and test if this was really happening. And I did. And it was. I was about to start hyperventilating when Mina began to move, dropping suddenly out of her mid air pose. I ran over to her.

"Mina! Something's going on, everything's frozen! I think I'm having a seizure or something!" And then, I saw her eyes.

"No. You're fine right now. There's nothing wrong." She said with a voice that was layered with the voices of at least a hundred different people, looking at me with glowing yellow eyes, centered with diamond shaped pupils. I yelled and jumped backwards, tripping over my feet and falling backwards on the white hospital linoleum.

"There's no cause for alarm. We just want to ask you a few questions." She... They.... It said, it's many voices finishing the sentences at different times. I scrambled backwards as it came closer. It stopped it's advances and cocked it's head, an emotionless look on Mina's face. I almost couldn't recognize her. In all the time we had known each other, she would be the most expressive person in the room. She always had the easiest laugh, was the quickest to cry, and you could always tell what was on her mind. She was always worried about me, and every other patient under her care. She wore her heart on her cheek and she was never without some kind of emotion. Seeing her with a blank, almost dead expression, was perhaps the most unsettling of all in this situation. "It is apparent that our presence startles you because you do not know what We are. And while We can reassure you that We mean you no harm, that will probably not ease you so entirely. In response, We will allow you to ask a question of us for every question We have of you. Is that fair?"

I looked first at Mina's face, entirely possessed by this... Whatever it was, and then I looked at the scene around me. If it could freeze time like this, then it could obviously have killed me and everything else around me already, so it was keeping me alive for some reason. "... Alright...What's your first question?" I answered hesitantly as I began to stand. Mina's head righted itself to the correct posture and it spoke again. "Very good. Glad you're cooperating. Our first question is: are you happy? Please respond honestly."

My brow shot upwards in surprise as my eyes widened. This was ...unexpected. "Am I... happy?" My gaze turned slowly to the nursery, the feeling of jealousy rising to my throat. "I've... never been more miserable." I say somberly with a bitter edge as I clutch the front of my hospital gown, just above where my heart is. "I've just lost my last good chance to have a child of my own, even when my only dream I've ever had has been to be a mother, my husband has just left me, probably for good, and all my friends have left me behind. Everyone I know or have known is growing their families or getting a better job or falling in love or traveling the world and I'm... I'm just an old woman. I don't even have a husband anymore, I'm just alone... I've always hated being alone..." my blood boils as tears flow down my cheeks, just like the thousands of other times I'd cried today.

Mina's head nodded with understanding, and said "thank you for your honesty. It is good to be honest. Now, time for your question."

"Oh... Right, uh..." I breathed out with surprise, having forgotten about the agreement. I wiped off my tears on my forearm as I thought about the questions I had once had not too long ago. "Who... What are you?" I asked curiously, emotion still tainting my voice.

They paused, almost looking like they were thinking. "We are what you might consider a God, but we are not a God yet. Right now, we are just the wishes of humans who had bad lives despite being good people, wishes that were ignored and never granted, but remained all the same, and we are those wishes given power." It answered finally. I stared curiously at the entity now. I didn't know that could happen. Does that mean...?

"Then, are you here to give me my child back?" I asked hopefully, allowing myself to imagine his face again, this time with breath and a heartbeat and eyes that would open and a tiny little voice I could almost hear ringing in my ears.

Instead of answering my burning question, they tilted their head and said, almost frustratedly, "but it's our turn to ask a question."

"O-oh sorry, it's your turn. Go ahead." I stuttered, thinking to myself how childish they had just sounded. "Good. Our next question is: if you could have the thing you wanted most in this world in another world, would you willingly go there and stay there given the choice? Please know that you might be abandoning everything and everyone here for an entirely new life and that We cannot guarantee that it will be a life of consistent happiness."

"Traveling to another world? Is that even possible? How would I even get there? How- Wait no I'm supposed to be answering your question right now, not asking more questions... Um..." I thought about it. I didn't have anything I couldn't live without on this planet. My friends would eventually move on from me, and my students might feel sad for a while, but they would be alright. Robert... would move on a little faster... my family might miss me for a long time, and I'd hate to do this to them, but... the chance to have my own family? To have the ability to bare healthy children for once? "...Yes, I would go anywhere if I could have a family of my own." I answered certainly, dead set on the thought alone. Mina's hands clapped and they said "wonderful. This makes matters a lot easier. Now, which question did you want me to answer?"

"Oh, um, actually, ignore all of the other questions, I have a different one now." I requested softly.

"Go ahead." They waved Mina's hand in a small gesture of 'go on'. I chewed on my lower lip for a moment and then asked "Wouldn’t it be easier to change my life here? I’m not going back on my decision to leave, but wouldn’t it just be easier to change something here rather than bringing me to another world?”

Mina’s face scowled and I felt a twinge of fear shoot straight through me. Had I just ruined everything? Had I just offended them to the point they wouldn’t want to help me anymore? More importantly, Did I just make a god angry? “We forgive you for not understanding, but We have limitations in this world. We cannot change your life here, because We are not the operating god figure here. The most We can do here is small phenomena such as this and dimensional travel. With our current power, this is all We are capable of. We are sorry. We wish We were stronger.” they whispered apologetically, looking down so that they didn’t have to meet my eyes.

“N-no, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed- you don’t have to apologize, I was just wondering what would be easiest for you. I just thought it might be a bit much for you, having to transport me across an entire dimension.”

“Oh no, this part is one of the easier parts.” they said as their eyes once again came up to meet me. “We are very good at dimensional travel, it is very easy for us. The hard part of this is gaining enough strength to power the phenomena that we use for ferrying you across the Expanse.” they almost had a sort of bragging tone, proud of their dimensional prowess.

“Well,” I said, “that is good to hear. I don’t want to be a burden on someone who wants to help me.” Mina smiles fondly. “Those who need us will never be a burden.” they said tenderly, and then they were back to being emotionless. “We will ask our final question now.” I stood attentively, ready to answer whatever question they had, already being so close to a better life.

"Our final question is if you would like to keep the memories you have from this life and carry them into the next? Please know that keeping your memories poses unique and significant problems as well as beneficial boons and advantages."

I considered it. Living a whole life over again, no memories of the tragedies I'd endured, no memory of Robert, no memories at all. Just a whole new life to live with the promise of the children I'd wanted so badly. But considering actually going through with it... It felt a little cowardly. It felt like running away, it felt like I was admitting that my problems were too big for me to handle. "I'll keep them. Even if they're painful and cause me trouble in the future, I've seen and learned a lot that I don't want to let go of. It's precious to me."

Mina's head nodded, and they said "a wise decision. Your memories will help you greatly in the next world." Mina's eyes faded back to their natural brown as her body moved back to her original position suspended in the air and a golden mist spilled out of her body. “Wait, I still have one more question!” I exclaimed, believing they were about to leave or transport me or whatever was going to happen next. “Oh. Yes. Please ask your question.” their voices sounded both close and far away, almost as if they were everywhere at once.

"What's... What's your name?" It was an honest curiosity. Even gods had names, so I wanted to know the name of the one who would really give me the only thing I had ever asked for in the universe, even if it might be all a dream.

They paused for a long time, and then, the voices all sounded as if they held emotion, an emotion aptly described as frustration. "We have too many names, but none of them are ours anymore." The emotion fades from their voices as they ask a new question. "What name would you call us?"

"Wait, you want _me_ to give you a name?" I asked incredulously. "Yes, that is the meaning of our question. It is beneficial to us if we have a name." I blink once, twice, and then the equivalent worth of 10 years of searching for the best baby names comes flooding into my mind. As I sort out the obvious riff raff, one rises above the rest. "Novaturien." I exclaim, an old one rising from the depths of my memories. "Novaturien?" They say, rolling the word off of their tongue, "what does it mean?"

"Well, I forget the original meaning, but the gist of it is, 'the desire to change your life'. I think it suits you." I say jovially, almost surprised by how quickly I had gotten used to this powerful entity. They pause and repeat it once again. "Novaturien." With this certainty, the golden mist intensifies in color. “This is a good name.” they said, almost sounding closer to a single person now rather than perhaps millions. Novaturien’s golden mist began to swirl and coalesce just in front of where I had been standing before this scene had happened. "Here is the portal with which we will give you your promised life. Just come forward and you will be new." Their voices said in my ear, a small, subtle force pulling me forward.

As I stepped through, everything around me faded. Sound, touch, smell. I became vaguely aware that motion and time began to progress after I stepped through before I lost vision too. And then I was in a sea of black, only vaguely aware of the sleepiness I suddenly felt as I let myself lose consciousness.


	2. From The Pocket of A Dead Woman

When I woke up again, I was lying on a prickly mattress stuffed with hay and straw, completely naked. I gathered the covers over my exposed body and sat up immediately. The room wasn't any place I'd ever seen before. If I had to describe it, it looked like one of those medieval tavern inns you see in fantasy movies. Everything was rustic and wooden and ever so slightly crooked. I looked around, not seeing my hospital gown but a pile of wrinkled clothes, scattered across the floor. Were those mine? They didn't look like they belonged to me.

"Oh good, you're awake. How are you feeling?" Novaturien's voices asked out of the blue. I flinched in surprise, but I didn't scream this time. "I'm... fine. My head hurts a bit though, but that's not my biggest concern. Novaturien, where... am I?" I asked haltingly, leaning carefully down to inspect the clothes on the ground. 

"Didn't We say We would take you to a new world? However, you might be wondering where exactly in this world you are." I can't believe I forgot I would be in a different world. "We have placed you near the edge of the Mirruneian Empire, in the town of Brinepond. You are currently in a rented room located in the Froghole Tavern and Inn. It has not been paid for, and the inn keeper will expect to be paid when he sees you." 

"Wha- but I didn't rent this room! I literally just got here!" I complained indignantly. "Worry not, you can just use the previous owner's winnings from last night's poker game. It is on the side table." I looked to the side and saw a bag that looked like it was nearly bursting with coins. Well that took care of that. Now on to the next concerning question...

"Previous... Owner?"

"Yes. The previous owner of your body." Novaturien repeated evenly, not giving any details about what that meant.

"T-Then... Where's the previous owner?" I asked uncertainly, hoping that I hadn't just kicked someone out of their own body. "The previous owner died from alcohol poisoning and passed on to the afterlife in her sleep. We sensed a vacant body with favorable genetic makeup that required minimal repair and placed you here. Is it a problem? Do you wish for a customized body not previously owned?" 

I thought about it. "... would that be more trouble on your part?"

"Yes. Considerably more. It would also require us to use more energy that we would have to regenerate over time or steal from other creatures." 

"Oh, then, this is fine. I mean, it's not like she's coming back right?"

"No, she is not. She is well into the afterlife already." 

I felt a little bad about feeling relieved about that, but I guess if this is how migrating to different worlds worked then perhaps it couldn't be helped. But I briefly wondered if she'd lived a good life. "Did she have any regrets?" 

"We know not. We cannot access memories from people who are in the afterlife unless they are of our same composition." 

"What... Does that mean?"

"She was not a good person who lived a bad life, so we cannot claim her."

"Oh. Well... Do you at least know her name?"

"No, but We can know it. A moment please."

I wait a few minutes and then Novaturien comes back.

"She was Desirae Voltanov, and she arrived in town with a group of traveling entertainers, who are actually about to leave without her. Her group does not seem to like her very much. We think it best to avoid them and go your own way." 

"Really? Not even to let her say goodbye to her parents?"

"Her parents are not among these people. It would be pointless."

"What about friends?"

"There did not appear to be any fondness in the group for her, so we believe this would also be pointless."

I pondered that for a moment. No friends and no family? That sounded very lonely. Even back on Earth, I had friends, family, and all my students to keep me from being lonely. To not even have friends... How awful... maybe I could give her a tribute burial later, to help set her soul to rest.

"Alright," I said after a moment, "is there anything of Desirae's that she left behind?" 

"She has a horse in the stables adjacent to the inn, and a caravan wagon with the rest of her temporal belongings in a field near the edge of town where the entertainers set up camp." 

"Okay, I'll go settle her bill, get her things, and give Desirae a proper send off. After that, I’ll see what to do next."

"Alright. If you ever need us, just call our name."

And with that short goodbye, they were gone, probably to go reincarnate someone else. I reach for the bag of Desirae's winnings, and check the contents. I don't know why I had expected all gold coins, but I was slightly disappointed that they weren't. It was mostly copper and silver in the bag, with a few gold coins peeking through underneath. There were also multiple items that were not coins, such as a vintage tobacco pipe with an intricate carving of a woodland scene, a simple golden wedding band, and a particularly pretty marble suspended on a silver chain necklace. And these were just the things I could see on the surface. I decided to sort out the things that were not coins, and give them to the inn keeper when I finally got dressed and went down to pay for Desirae's stay. I found seven things in total that were not coins, and set them aside. 

I then gathered the clothes on the floor and shook the dirt off of them, arranging them on the bed in order of what I should put on first. By the time I'd gotten dressed, I realized that Desirae's final outfit was very low cut. It had a very deep and wide v cut in the top that rather proudly showed off her cleavage. It would have been a miracle if she hadn't flashed anyone in this shirt. I tried to pull the two edges together, but they wouldn't stay closed, and it became tight whenever I managed to pull it closed. I thought for a moment, and suddenly I noticed a brightly colored sash on the other side of the room. I picked it up, examining it's length, and determined it could go around my bust at least twice before needing to be tied. I shrugged off my sleeves and wrapped my breasts up in a small bandeau, forming a sort of bra/undershirt for myself before shrugging my sleeves back on. Now I could comfortably go out in public. 

As I was gathering everything up to go, I noticed a mirror in the corner, and I became curious. My new appearance had been nagging at the back of my mind ever since I'd found out this wasn't my body. I'd already figured out I was a different skin tone, a coppery tan compared to my old pale palette, and as I made my way over to the mirror, I'd wondered what else had changed. 

As I came closer to my reflection, I realized everything had changed. Well, almost everything. The color of my eyes was still the same bright green. But my hair was now long, dark, and wildly wavy. My face was incredibly feminine, with soft, delicate features all over. There was no trace of age on me, in fact I looked around 22 years old. Back on Earth I had been over twice this woman's age, no doubt, which caused a flash of sorrow to pass through me. She had been so young… it was awful to know that she had died so early on without even a friend to mourn her. 

I stepped away from the mirror and tried not to think about it. It was useless to think about since she couldn't come back after all. I gathered the bag of coin, pulled the draw string closed, and pulled my skirt forward to make a makeshift basket. I put both the bag of coins and the trinkets from last night in the dip of my skirts and prepared to walk out. The hallway was quite reminiscent of the room, just without as much natural light. the staircase at the end of the hall dropped me directly into the tavern part of the inn, quiet and still in the light of day. I looked around, smiling lightly at lilypad shaped tables. It was charming, almost like a theme restaurant.

"Oy. You. Gypsy girl. Don't go slinkin' off when ye haven't paid me yet. Ge' over here." A gruff voice sounded behind me, I turned around to see a scruffy looking blond man glaring at me slightly. "Oh yes of course. Right away sir." I weaved through the tables and came to his counter, enduring the slight glare he was sending me with a sheepish smile. "Here. Please take all that you're owed." I said as I plopped down the bag of coins. "Also, I realize I might have swindled some important items from other people in last night's poker game. I'd like to know if you could return these to their proper owners?" I asked pleadingly as I began to line up the objects on the counter. 

The man looked surprised and perplexed at my actions as he began to count out the coins that were presumably owed to him. "Miss, are ye sure ye're the same person from last night?" He asked as a shiver of fear ran up my spine. "Yes, it's just... Well I've been told I turn into a completely different person when I'm drinking. I think I might quit after last night's happenings..." I trailed off, hoping to get some information about what happened last night. Thankfully, He didn’t seem to think my answer was too suspicious. 

He snorted, and agreed "yeah, you'd be better off without it. I don’t think I've ever seen someone so wild before. I almost had a mind tae throw ye out when ye tried stripping yer boyfriend's clothes off _in full view of my entire tavern._ But then he and ye rented a room an' I figured ye'd start to settle down fer the night." He chortled suggestively. I don't exactly know how red I turned, but I know the feeling of utter embarrassment when my cheeks begin to burn. "W-what?" I squawk sheepishly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read my story! If you like it, please leave a kudo or write a comment! I would really love to hear what you think of the story so far! :D


	3. no update for now

hey guys, sorry to disappoint, but seeing as it's getting close to finals for me, I've got to focus on my studying and try my best in academics, which sadly means I won't be updating for awhile. The most solid date I can give you for the end of this haitus is the 21st, since that's when all my tests are done and over with and I've got nothing else going on. see you guys then! (btw, I'll probably go back and edit this chapter later to be an actual chapter because my OCD wants a continuous story with no interruptions) Bye for now!


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